Spiritual struggles and the downside of being someone who pushes others

Once I started to understand the law of attraction, it was hard not to center my life around it. In the beginning, there was a lot of instant gratification. I severely altered my energy and the whole world seemed to shift into alignment with me. I got addicted to this. It felt like magic. I told the universe what I wanted and it delivered. I never took this for granted. My sense of gratitude consumed me, which made me feel even more fulfilled.

After some time, however, I started to notice a “funnel effect”. I wasn’t attracting as many people or experiences as I used to. I spent more time by myself over a three week span than I had in years. I started to feel lonely. Was my energy broken?

I recently read two books. Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss is pretty much all I’m talking about right now. Long story very short, it’s about past lives and what our purpose is while we’re here. From this book, I learned that my purpose is to learn and to change. While I am here, I am supposed to become more enlightened and go through the necessary experiences that will bring me closer to my best and higher self. This often involves suffering. The second book I read was a book about Bodhidharma, a buddhist monk. Bodhidharma says there are four ways to “enter the path of enlightenment”: suffering injustice, adapting to conditions, seeking nothing, and practicing the Dharma. I won’t talk about seeking nothing because I’m not there yet. Practicing the Dharma can be translated as practicing the behaviors and virtues that provide cosmic law and order (doing the right thing). Suffering injustice is huge. As ancient as Bodhidharma and as modern as Brian Weiss, the teaching of injustice and hardship as opportunity is so valuable. Adapting to hardships is what is most applicable to me- learning to allow your life to unfold the way it is supposed to and embrace it without resistance.

Putting these books in the context of my concerns with the law of attraction, I realized that because the things I want most are unshakeable bliss and self-improvement, I am attracting exactly what I am supposed to be attracting. Having more solidarity than I have been used to has already given me so much. It has taught me how to love and take care of myself the way I would for others. It has forced me to think (a lot) and it has allowed me to get to know myself. I feel more peaceful and patient than ever before and I am learning how to love being alone.

With all that being said, I still think there is something to the “funnel effect”. When your inner light is shining bright, you will only attract people and experiences that match yours. It becomes about quality rather than quantity. The things that come into your life will be fewer but they will be more meaningful. When you are operating at your best, you will not be able to accept anything less.

Another thing I wanted to touch on is that throughout this journey, I have learned how terrified people are of change. I am a catalyst. I always have been. I show people things about themselves because I have conversations that matter and because I am not afraid to reveal the deepest parts of myself to others. It has been hard to realize that this is not always welcomed. Sometimes your light is too bright for others. Sometimes the energy and the love you give will be towards someone who is not ready to receive it. Sometimes your balance forces a mirror in the hand of someone who is not ready to look. You cannot take this personally. While some of us may understand the beauty of discomfort, others need to be comfortable.

For those of you on this great journey with me, you know exactly what I mean and it sucks. Relationships will change. You will feel misunderstood. You will struggle with wanting more for people than they want for themselves. That’s ok. Continue to love and accept as best as you can and allow people to flow freely in and out of your life.


One comment

  1. Juliana · September 12, 2016

    So much YES to all of this ❤️


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s